One Question, Never Ending Answer
by Zwart Wit
Summary: What if Envy's life was saved and he end up living with Ed and friends? This is the scene when they eat dinner together, and one question from May Chang ends in ridiculous mess. CHAP 2 UPDATE!
1. One Question, Never Ending Answer

It was the first time Envy attended the human dinner, without disguise. Of course, he didn't really need to eat or drink. He joined only because he lived in a Roy's house who invited them all to dinner. Although in the fact, he also wanted to see how they react when they saw he had dinner with them.  
But, no one reacted as Envy expected. They just say hello (hi, Envy!), and chatted with one another, as if Envy's frequent dinner with them.

As if he were a human.

And although it felt somewhat comfortable, he was also surprised. Hellooo, there is a homunculus here! Are human so easy to release their awareness?

But it seems there was one person watching him. Since the beginning of dinner, a little girl with a cat . . . oh, no, the panda on her shoulder, occasionally looked at him with a child-like wonder. And after that, she would whisper something into her panda.

...

"It's strange, Shao Mei, I can't sense it too."

That girl looked at Envy again.

"Usually I can sense it from everyone, even homunculus. But this . . ." Mei Chang frowned.

Shao Mei make some gesture.

"Talk to . . . him? Well . . . okay."

...

May Chang turned to Envy, "Envy, can I ask you something?"

Envy shrugged, "then ask."

"Are you male or female?"

...

". . . . ."

". . . . ."

". . . . ."

". . . . ."

". . . . ."

Silent for a moment. And then,

"OF COURSE HE IS A MALE, YOU STUPID BEAN!" Edward yelled.

"OH YEAH? SO WHY HE LOOKS LIKE A FEMALE TOO, YOU SHRIMP!" said May Chang

"I thought he is a female." Winry whispered to Riza.

Riza nodded, "me too!"

"Of course he is a male," Al said, "look at his shoulder."

"And his chest." Roy Mustang continued.

"But that curve," Jean Havoc stared at him, "it should belong to woman!"

"I bet he is genderless." Thought Scar.

"I know, I know!" Ran Fan claps her hand, "he must be bigender! What do you think, young master?"

"Huh? Who cares? I'm not planning to marry him or her."

"He is definitely male!"

"Female!"

"Male!"

"Female!"

"Genderless!"

"Bigender!"

"A sissy?"

This was too much for Envy.

"SHUT UP YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!" He hit the table, and broke it at the same times. Everyone fell silent.

"Actually, I'm supposed to be neither male nor female. But, if you are talking about my daily form, I'm male! Understand?"

"Ooh . . ." They all nodded.

"So . . . you are a male?" Edward asked.

"NO! Didn't you hear his explanation? He is genderless!" Winry complaint.

"But his daily form is a male!"

"But actually he is genderless!"

"Male!"

"Genderless!"

"Male!"

"Genderless!"

"MALE!"

"GENDERLESS!"

Debate continues. And Envy, in the middle of the quarrel, sighed.

"Geez, how can I live with these people?"

* * *

YAY! This is my first fanfic! Sorry for my horrible grammars *sigh* I need more practice.

Well, actually I'm a HUGE Naruto fan, and made my account to write naruto fanfiction. But I was just watching FMA Brotherhood and then read the manga to finish, and it's freakin' cool! Edward is my favorite character and Envy is my favorite villain character, and May Chang is my favorite female character. (Oh, I'm rambling again). Well, please review and suggestion to make it better.

PS: Do you realize that in the last line, Envy used the word 'people' instead of 'human'?


	2. Home Sweet Home

_Finally, _Envy thought, _finally, my own home!_

Today, Envy was standing in front of his new apartment. Yes, he had moved from Roy's house, which made him very relieved. Stayed in Roy's house for a few days is fine, but stayed in one month was a nightmare.

No, it's not because Roy was sucks or anything. Envy was quite able to accept his personality. The real problem was, his house incredibly cluttered like HELL! Envy wasn't a tidy person too, but, banana peel on _bathroom_ floor? How the earth it can be happen? Envy slipped on that damned banana peel last week, causes his head hit the potty, and totally ruined it. If Envy wasn't homunculus, he would be rushed to the hospital because of extreme concussion. And, if you can believe, this was what Roy said when he saw that accident:

"NOOO! You ruined my stuff again!"

What a heartless pyromaniac.

…

Well, you can guess what happened next. War of big stones attack, broken wall, and flame. That's not the first accident, but that was the worst. After that, Edward and friends decided to moved Envy from Roy's house before they end up killing each other because of something like that damned banana peel.

"Well, I don't blame you for that accident," said Edward to Envy after he explored Roy's house. "I'm only exploring this house once, and I've tripped over a table lamp, slipped on a book, and hit by a suitcase in the kitchen! Man, this house is more dangerous than a minefield! "

So, here now Envy.

…

Envy was just about to enter his house, when suddenly he heard someone running from his right side. Then he saw a black dog running in front of him, followed by a little girl with light brown hair.

"Hayate, come here! Come here and have lun-KYAAA!"

She slipped, and Envy reflexively bent to hold her right before she hit the ground.

_Slipped, _Envy thought, _maybe I'll find out how many people die because of the accident._

"Uuh, thank you . . ." The little girl stood back up, and saw Envy.

"Waaah . . !" Her eyes widened in excitement.

_Huh? What's up?_

She pointed towards Envy, and then she said in a loud, cheerful voice,

...

"A palm-tree headed guy!"

_Whaa-!_

"HOW DARE YOU CALLED ME PALM-TREE HEAD YOU LITTLE BAST-"

"Elysia? Where are you?" Said a soft, motherly voice, "Stop pursuing Hayate, dear. Ah, there you are!"

Envy turned toward the voice.  
And faced with Gracia.

_She is-_

Envy was frozen in his place.

…

_Telephone box. Drops of blood. Envy knew that once he turned around, he would immediately attack him._  
_And then he saw something lying on the ground._  
_Family photo. Perfect._  
_Horror on his face when he turned around, really gave Envy satisfaction. _

_Gun sound echoed in the night air._

…

"Mama, this palm-tree headed guy is our new neighbor!"

"Sshh! Don't call people 'palm tree', Elysia. It's impolite." Gracia said, although when she saw Envy's hair, she secretly agreed with her daughter.

Meanwhile, Envy was still frozen in shock.

_She was Hughes's wife._

"You've come today, haven't you? I see you picking up your stuff with Edward and Al this morning. So you're a new friend of those Elric brothers?" Gracia asked with smile. Then she noticed Envy's strange expression, almost like fear.

"Are you okay? You didn't seem well."

"No." Envy replied. He walked into his house.

"Oh, wait. When you're feeling a bit better, I would like to invite you to lunch. But it's okay if you want to rest first."

Envy just waved his hand and went into the house.

"Strange guy." Gracia thought with a little worried.

* * *

Pheww! Second chapter! Actually, I never planned this as a continued story. Blame plot-bunnies in my head for this inconsistent XD.

But, for a Humor/Drama genre, I think this story becomes a bit too serious at the end of this chapter (^ ^;). Err, what do you think?

Please review and suggestion.


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